Mama, I Love You

Dear Mama,

Today, I'm not feeling well. As my condition getting worst sometimes, Mama always there to give me some strength. Sometimes, I preferred not to tell Mama about my condition. I don't want Mama to become worries about me. But, every mom knows their children well right ?

I love chicken soup so much. And today, Mama cooked it for me as she's worried that I might lost my appetite. And I love eat it in a big bowl with a round spoon (at home, we called it sudu bulat ^_^ )

Mama prepared me the meal with white rice which is a little bit soft than normal white rice. 

Even though, I don't have any appetite to finish my meal, but seeing my mom's effort preparing it make me feel so touch. Thanks Mama. 

Mama,

there's no one in this world that can take your place
I'm sorry for ever taking you for granted,  

I will use every chance I get
to make you smile, whenever I'm around you
now I will try to love you like you love me
only God knows how much you mean to me

Your daughter, 

Najwa <3

 

I Wanna Keep Smiling

Assalamualaikum.. Hello peeps :)

My last post was the shortest one. and I'm so sorry for not updating this blog as frequent as I can. Sorry dear. 

Actually, I have so many stories to be tell. But I don't know how to start yet to end. Alhamdulillah, my final result was the highest compared with my other 3 results. I think it was a gift after many sad things happened to me. InsyaAllah, I'll be telling you soon. 

I wanna keep smiling. I wrote this because lately I feel something wrong with me. Something that I never expect to happen again. During my junior year in CFS, I'd suffered many pains and aches which actually changed my life and affects my study. But I never blamed it and take it as the main reason why I can't score during my junior year. 

The heart wasn't doing well. I kept experienced palpitation especially at night. It happened every night for almost a year. On top of that, migraine became my best friend. I've also suspected of having leukemia. But I never told my parents about this till now. I don't want to make them worry so I keep it by myself. I went to the clinic by myself. Taking my blood result alone and all this thing help me grow. I've become independent. :)

Alhamdulillah, I'm getting better after a year of suffering. How? I don't know. Maybe after I've changed everything in my life. I've get rid the negative thinking, I changed my diet (because during the interval, I think for the first 3 months, I lost weight about 5kg) and my lifestyle. 

Now, the palpitation have come back and I don't know why. My digestive system also showed some changes which I don't even understand why. Seek for a doctor ? Not now, because my dad wasn't very well now. So I'm just hope for the best and ready for the worst. Let my family and I taking care of my dad first and about me, pray for the best. 

p/s : My heart beating fast and the stomach doesn't be good to me. Pray for health peeps. I love you guys so much.

with lots of love,

Najwa :)