ada satu saat tu, kita sangat merindui dia. namun, dia tiada untuk kita.
penat diri ini menunggu dengan harapan dia muncul. muncul yang entah dari mana. hadirnya dengan sebuah senyuman. ya, senyuman yang mampu menghilangkan semua lelah yang ada, menghilangkan semua kerisauan yang melanda.

namun, masih mencari. di mana dia. adakah dia lupa akan kehadiran diri ini.

dan adakah hanya akan menyedari kehadiran diri ini, apabila diri ini sudah hilang dari pandangan. sudah tiada untuk berada di sisinya. di saat suka, di saat duka.

pray hard

It's even heart breaking because he is the first man I ever loved whole heartedly, I ever cared for tenderly, the first man I am prepared to give in sacrifice and put down my pride as a Queen. Dear Allah, I don't want to play with my heart and feeling anymore. If he is the one for me but it's just not the time yet, please ease my heart and let the feeling fade away. And bring us back together when we are ready.

Letting go is to cherish memories and overcome and move on.  To have an open mind and confidence in future. Letting go is accepting, learning, experiencing and growing. For me to be thankful for the experiences that made me laugh, made me cry and made me grow. Its about all that I have, all that I had and all that I will soon again. Letting go is the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. Its realising that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door and to clear a path and to set me free.

Thanks for the du'a. Its nice to know that we are having the same hope.

Wishes

Assalamualaikum :)

I'm not a good girl. But I'm trying to be the good one. 

I knew a little about Islam. Yes, I'm ashamed. 

But, what matter is the ending, not the beginning. 

I'm not ready to wear all the Muslimah outfit. Yes, I don't have all the Muslimah t-shirts like others. 

But, I'm trying to wear something longer and bigger.  That suits me as the Muslimah and covers my aurah properly. 

I knew, it is not easy to change. At first, everything starting with force. Yes, I'm being forced. It is not by my own willingness. But, he said, if not being forced, you will not do it. 

I knew, it wasn't easy. On top of that, I'm so full with excuses. :)

My parents knew me well. They knew, I have all the answers and excuses from what they are saying. 

I'm a girl who loves fashion so much.Once in awhile, I'll become shopaholic :D

Because previously, I'm not a hijaber, I have plenty of clothes that not cover the aurah properly. 

I always being scolded by my babah because my shirts are mostly short :) 

One day, Mama was asking me, Mama : What kind of outfits you want ? Me : I don't like all those muslimah t-shirts. Mama : Then, tell me what you want ?Me : Can I have a dress ? Either maxi dress or mini dress. Then, I wear it with a pair of jeans and cardigan. The dress is long enough to cover my butts and thigh, Mama. Mama : Fine, as you wish. That's my daughter :) 

Mama was trying hard on me. As a daughter, I'm trying hard to fulfil my mama's wishes. Mama, thanks for being such a patience mummy. I love you so much, and you're the number one for me :)

Last night, I was with him for dinner. Out of nowhere, this topic came out. 

I was joking but deep inside my heart, I hope it will become true. 

"Who knows, next semester I'll change. Maybe with proper hijab and clothes"
And I heard, he said "Amin" 
It was slow, but still I can heard it. And he smiles.  

One day, it'll become a reality. 

JODOH

To All Wonderful Women including Me :)

Respect A Woman because

You can feel her INNOCENCE in the form of a daughter 

You can feel her CARE in the form of a sister 

You can feel her WARMTH in the form of a friend 

You can feel her PASSION in the form of a beloved 

You can feel her DEDICATION in the form of a wife 

You can feel her DIVINITY in the form of a mother 

You can feel her BLESSING in the form of a grandmother 

Yet she is so TOUGH too...

Her HEART is so TENDER, so NAUGHTY, so CHARMING, so SHARING, so MELODIOUS. she is a WOMAN

and she is LIFE!!! 

New Things To Be Started

Friend

You, 

Thanks for being there when I really need someone. 

Thanks for creating a wonderful moment for me. 

Find out what we're made of

When we are called to help our friends in need

I can count on you like one two three

You'll be there

And you know when you need it you can count on me like four three two

I'll be there

'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

If I tossin' and I'm turnin' and I just can't fall asleep

You'll sing a song

Beside me

And if I ever forget how much you really mean to me

Everyday you will

Remind me

I'll always have your shoulder when I cry

You'll never let go

Never say goodbye

credit : Count On Me, Bruno Mars :)

Thanks for being a wonderful friend. I heart you. 

Yesterday, It's Just Like A Dream

Assalamualaikum. Hello peeps :)

I'm officially 21st years old yesterday, at 8.05 pm. :) Yes, yesterday it's my birthday :)
Alhamdulillah, I'm still alive, still breathing in this wonderful world and I'm so thankful for that. ♥

Yesterday, it's just like a dream. A dream that came true. A dream that every girl have. I don't know how to express it. But, yesterday is one of the wonderful moment in my life.

I'm getting old! But age is only a number :P So, nothing to be worried about. I did enjoyed my 21st birthday. Thanks to my physio's siblings that create a video to wish my birthday and Asmira ( she was born a day before me, so I called her Kakak :P ). I will upload the video soon. Stay tuned :P. For those who wish me through messages, FB and Twitter, I really appreciated that. Not to forget, for those people who called me, and sang Happy Birthday's song for me, which was the most fun part, I'm so touched :) Hug and kiss for you guys.

Dinner for us

Cake From Farah :)

Cake From Him ♥

His Wish ♥

Kakak sayang Mama + Abah :)

Bila mak kata dia teringat, kita jawab kita sibuk sangat.
Bila ayah kata dia rindu, kita jawab nantilah hujung minggu.
Bila mak minta kita pulang, kita jawab kita belum lapang.
Bila ayah minta kita singgah, kita jawab kerja kita belum selesai.

Bila hati kita terguris, kita kata “Mak memang tak pernah faham”.
Bila hati kita terhiris, kita kata “Ayah memang tak ambil kisah”. 

Tetapi:

Bila hati mak kita terguris, mak kata “Tak apa, dia masih muda”.
Bila hati ayah kita terhiris, ayah kata “Tak apa, belum sampai akalnya”.
Bila kita menagis tanda lapar, mak berlari bagai hilang kaki.
Bila kita merintih tanda derita, ayah bersengkang mata bagaikan tiada lena. 
Bila kita sedih kerana gagal, mak setia membekalkan cekal. 
Bila kita pilu kerana kecewa, ayah teguh berkata dia tetap bangga. 

tapi , 

kenapa bila kita telah dewasa kita merasakan seolah mereka tidak pernah faham kita ? 
mereka tidak pernah meminta kita balas apa yang mereka beri pada kita ? 
mereka hanya meminta secebis kasih sayang . . . 
ketahuilah anak , mereka bukan pengemis ? perlu mengemis secebis kasih sayang dari anak mereka ?

Setiap Yang Bernyawa Pasti Akan Merasa Mati

Assalamaualikum. Hello peeps.

Malam ni Wanie nak share something. Petang tadi waktu tengah rehat-rehat and nak start study, ada voice mail from Mama. And bila Wanie nak call balik, Mama called me back. But actually, it was my sister, Najaa who made the phone call.

Me : Hello..
Najaa : Kakak, Achik Maria dah tak, baru je lagi. Tadi sebelum pukul 4. Dalam tiga lebih.

See, my sister tak sempat nak bagi salam or what. Just mentioning about the news which I am really afraid to hear.

Yes, around 3.55 pm on 12 February 2013, my lovely aunt, Kamariah binti Junet passed away. She's suffering of cancer about a year. She is (I'm still can't using was) one of the best aunt I ever have. She is the first aunt that hold me right after I was born on this world. Yes, she's there when my mummy gave birth.

Selain mama, Achik Maria antara orang yang Wanie rapat. So do her daughter, Kak Ana. Kali terakhir Wanie jumpa Achik Maria waktu wedding Abang Ngah (17.11.2012) Lama kan ?? Since that, Wanie tak dapat jumpa, sampailah hari terakhir dia. Dan Wanie minta maaf sebab tak dapat hadir untuk majlis pengebumian Achik. Tapi Achik tau kan, Wanie sayang sangat dekat Achik. Wanie doakan untuk Achik dari sini. :)

Waktu wedding Abang Ngah tu, Achik sihat je. Waktu tu, Wanie ingat Achik akan baik. Walaupun Wanie tahu, cancer is not that easy. Wanie tau Achik kuat, and you can go through it. Tapi Wanie lupa, Allah lebih berkuasa. Dia yang lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk Achik. Achik, Wanie redha Achik pergi walaupun Wanie sedih sangat. Wanie sedih, tempat untuk Wanie bermanja dah hilang satu.

Wanie ingat lagi dalam ramai-ramai anak buah Achik, Wanie selalu dapat special treats kan :D Hehehe, Jangan jealous :P Bila Wanie nak perfume, Achik belikan. Dan waktu wed's Angah tu, Wanie potong rambut. Balik je dari saloon, terus pergi kat Achik tanya comel tak.Waktu tu Achik senyum, sambil main-main rambut Wanie. Achik cakap comel sangat. Walaupun waktu tu Achik dah penat, baring atas katil, tapi still Achik layan Wanie.

Achik, Wanie dah tak sanggup nak tulis lagi. Dah banjir dah nie. Hehehe.
Wanie doakan Achik bahagia dekat sana. Semoga roh Achik ditempatkan bersama-sama orang yang beriman. Achik memang dah tak de kat dunia nie, tapi Achik tak pernah hilang dalam hati Wanie. Wanie kena kuat sebab setiap yang bernyawa pasti akan merasai mati. Thanks Achik sebab approve Din untuk jadi suami Wanie. Tapi Achik tak sempat nak tengok kami nikah nanti :( Wanie akan make sure Din jaga Wanie elok-elok eh. Hahahaha :D

Sayang Achik sangat-sangat <3

She was next to my mum. The one who not holding the baby is her  :)

  9 October 1961 - 12 February 2013 

سُوۡرَةُ الاٴنبیَاء

        كُلُّ نَفۡسٍ۬ ذَآٮِٕقَةُ ٱلۡمَوۡتِ‌ۗ وَنَبۡلُوكُم بِٱلشَّرِّ وَٱلۡخَيۡرِ فِتۡنَةً۬‌ۖ وَإِلَيۡنَا   تُرۡجَعُونَ

Al Anbiya’: 35

Every soul must taste of death, and We try you with evil and with good, for ordeal. And unto Us ye will be returned.

The Answer

The First :)

Assalamualaikum. Hello peeps. Happy New Year everyone.
Its 2013 now! And we are on the third day of the year. So, how's your day?
Me, done fighting with the anatomy and having a nightmare with that paper. Muahahahaha

Because it is new year and everybody is talking about the new year resolution.
Therefore, let me begin my first post of the year with My 2013 Bucket's Lists ♥
It is list made by me and a few things that he wanted me to do. Basically, its my past-past year resolutions which I never achieve. *ROFL But somehow or rather, I want it to be done this year. I'm inspired by Yasmin, one of the blogger and here is her url. I wanted to have the jar too. Writing of what happened on each day of the year. Its like a diary but in a different way :D Isn't it awesome? So My Bucket's List are

 Hahaha, don't laugh but that is My 2013 Resolutions. I hope I can keep the promise.

Btw, this new year begins with exams. I repeat EXAMS. So, here its my planner. Only for January :)

So, today was the paper for Anatomy. No Comments :( Right after the exam, I texted my mum and  Miss Muna a.k.a Kak Muna, (I'm used to call her kakak, whenever there are only two of us and during texting, ngeee) I sent " I'm sorry, I didn't done it well ;( " Alhamdulillah, I didn't get any sort of scolding. Muahahaha, but they support me and asked me to focusing on the next papers.

And I'm still struggling with the Kuantan's weather. Again, I'm having fever. My mum said, because of not getting proper medication and not even seek for a doctor, (that's me) my fever is repeating again and again and again and again. Okay, enough again :D But I didn't blame my fever and make it as a reason for me not to study. I think it is more like a spirit for me to continue study even you're sick. And you feel like Allah is really there. Why? Because I can't studied much, in facts I slept a lot. But the knowledge that you gained and everything that you're studied came in the exams. Can you see Allah really help you there?
As Allah said in the Qur'an

"Allah created all things and He is the agent on which all things depend" (39:62)

"Do not worship besides Allah that which cannot help or harm you" (21:66) 

So I believed in Allah's help. That's the real concept of Tawakal :) You read, you study, you answer the questions and the rest, you leave it to Allah :)

A few days back and forward, these little things will become my best friend :D But, I want the blue one to disappear as fast as I wanted. Hahahaha. The below one, I will continue to read till the day I retire :)

 

Till then.
Assalamualikum :D