I'm not a good girl. But I'm trying to be the good one.
I knew a little about Islam. Yes, I'm ashamed.
But, what matter is the ending, not the beginning.
I'm not ready to wear all the Muslimah outfit. Yes, I don't have all the Muslimah t-shirts like others.
But, I'm trying to wear something longer and bigger. That suits me as the Muslimah and covers my aurah properly.
I knew, it is not easy to change. At first, everything starting with force. Yes, I'm being forced. It is not by my own willingness. But, he said, if not being forced, you will not do it.
I knew, it wasn't easy. On top of that, I'm so full with excuses. :)
My parents knew me well. They knew, I have all the answers and excuses from what they are saying.
I'm a girl who loves fashion so much.Once in awhile, I'll become shopaholic :D
Because previously, I'm not a hijaber, I have plenty of clothes that not cover the aurah properly.
I always being scolded by my babah because my shirts are mostly short :)
One day, Mama was asking me, Mama : What kind of outfits you want ? Me : I don't like all those muslimah t-shirts. Mama : Then, tell me what you want ?Me : Can I have a dress ? Either maxi dress or mini dress. Then, I wear it with a pair of jeans and cardigan. The dress is long enough to cover my butts and thigh, Mama. Mama : Fine, as you wish. That's my daughter :)
Mama was trying hard on me. As a daughter, I'm trying hard to fulfil my mama's wishes. Mama, thanks for being such a patience mummy. I love you so much, and you're the number one for me :)
Last night, I was with him for dinner. Out of nowhere, this topic came out.
I was joking but deep inside my heart, I hope it will become true.
"Who knows, next semester I'll change. Maybe with proper hijab and clothes"
And I heard, he said "Amin"
It was slow, but still I can heard it. And he smiles.
One day, it'll become a reality.
